I’m concerned that my messed up life certainly doesn’t portray the “Christian” witness that others feel I should be living. What makes matters worse is that I’m being emotionally abused at my present place of employment. I apologize for my “letting go moment” … I’m frustrated with the way I seem to still be in a fog and unable to move forward more quickly. REALLY? If he is taking responsibility then why doesn’t he repent and truly show that he loves me as his wife? Why do adult children and others condone such wickedness and feel sorry for him?
WORD FOR A WILLING VICTIM FULL
I have had someone tell me that he takes full responsibility for the dysfunctional family. Notice I referred to them as by-standers? Yes, they want to know how I am but will only ‘stand-by’ and not approach ‘him’ about his behavior. That statement, alone is so much of what I have had to contend with from the “churched” and secular by-standers. “….presumption that the abuser means well, that he is merely ignorant of the effects of his actions or has wounds that need to be tended that he simply needs to be well-respected and loved.” I always pass on your information whenever women contact me. Thank you for being a voice for victims of abuse. I thank God daily that he delivered me from such an evil marriage and then brought a wonderful man into my life in which I’ve been happily married to for almost 6 years now! I do though despise how he ripped a family apart and almost destroyed the relationship between our two sons, and tried to put the blame on me without ever taking responsibility. I once really hated my ex, especially for all the horrible things he did after he walked out on me and our two boys, but today I can honestly say I have no hate for him only pity. How can you speak such evil hateful things to someone and just not care? It was and is beyond me how people treat one another with such cruelty. What was always so hard for me to understand is how anyone could treat another person like my ex treated me. He told everyone that I only wanted a divorce and was not willing to reconcile even though he loved me and wanted to save our marriage. He threatened to take our boys if I ever tried to leave him…you know, that should have told me right then and there that he knew exactly what he was doing since he obviously had to threaten me to keep me.Īnd #98 - oh yes. If this pattern represents the kind of relationship in which you find yourself, I have given you 101 reasons to get out.Ī put down my ex used to say to me whenever I would apologize for something - “Yes, you ARE sorry”.Īlthough many of the #101 rang true for me, #92 and 98 especially. Other tactics include raging, cursing, isolation, the silent treatment, posturing and physically blocking, glaring, terrorizing (throwing things, slamming doors, harming pets, etc.), destroying or selling personal property, material deprivation, neglect, financial hoarding, and sexual abuse. These comments that correlate with an abuser mindset only scratch the surface of the array of verbal and non-verbal means an abuser will use to intimidate a bewildered victim. I have already talked to our pastor, and he’s on my side.If you divorce me, I will make sure everyone knows you’re the one who gave up on our marriage.You wouldn’t want anything to happen to the children.I’m telling you right now, you’re not going to… There is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind.I don’t care if you made plans I just changed them.Nothing I do is ever good enough for you.After all I have done for you this is the thanks I get.You’re wrong, and that’s all there is to it.